Worry

Right now, its 1:14 am that i’m typing this post. Yes, it is indeed very late and i should have been long asleep already. In fact, i really wish i could just lie down and sleep straight away. However, there’s just abit too much worrying on my mind for which is preventing me from gaining my slumber. As we all know, tomorrow, or rather today, there’s going to be the ndp at school, and no matter how i think about it, i just can’t stop thinking of how badly it might end up to be. Surprisingly, this is the first time i’m actually worrying about the performance, and even more surprisingly is that i’m not even marching, why should i even worry about it, and even worry so much i can’t sleep…

Just sitting here and typing this from my perspective is indeed ironic, last year, around this time also, i was right there on my bed sleeping away, only to wake up the next day and walk into the parade filled with confidence that nothing could go wrong. This time, i’m out here typing this and praying hard that after ranting i would feel better or at least become really tired so i could instakill myself.

The last training before the real thing was last friday. I could only describe it as a disaster. It was the last training already and everything was still a mess. People were just sloppily marching along the field, most couldn’t even be bothered to stand straight during sedia. That alone is bad enough… but to make it worst, which i really think is what made it really bad, is what happened to begin with.

Compare and contrast, year 1′s ndp, and this ndp. I could only say our current one is so much worst. Firstly, we started training abit TOO F*CKING late. It was only around the second week of term 3 before there was actually enough people to form the squad, and after that most people just kept coming in and out so the standard from far from equal. Also, one training a week which only last 2 hours and even someone retarded would also not expect anything from the squad. Considering that there was at most 6 trainings before the real thing and that the squad people keep changing and that each training was barely enough… to actually get thus far i’m surprised. But still this is not good enough to actually keep up for a parade.

Enough complaining about whoever was incharge of it just in case i get into trouble. Anyway, for the past dunno how many weeks, i’ve been training fleming squad which was in fact more fun than i imagined. I know once in a while i shouted at them, especially on the last training when i was kinda pressurized by someone who was really pissed at the standard of the parade and started to mark my squad because we started component training last. Obviously it wasn’t their fault since their house captain wanted to talk to them to boost morale and emphasize some admin detail but still… Either way, when we resumed training, i started shouting at them for real since 20 minutes is all i had left and at least 5 person disappeared already. Kinda lost control of my anger until track coach hosni commented that i was really fierce >< after that even tiong suan commented that i was fierce when he walked by. For the first time ever someone actually commented on me being fierce and to make it worst two at go. Felt kinda bad after that since especially when i lost control and had to quote someone’s “if you think you are good enough, you are dismissed, go home”.

Thinking back, training this squad was actually kinda fun, as in the training part not the ending part where the situation got pretty tense. Most memorable part was when i was taking attendance, on the last day. Just to emphasize a point, i have a bad habit of easily forgetting peoples names unless i call them by it at least once (unless they leave an impression that is…). Either way, i took the attendance list and went around asking for their names so i could take attendance. That’s where the fun part comes in, everyone i went up to and ask for their name, they just simply look back, shocked, that i actually didn’t know who they are after so long :P Almost everyone had the same reaction which makes it really really funny. To be frank, i actually know some but just wanted to confirm so i asked. Sadly, i totally forgot to ask them back if they knew who i am… it’ll be really epic if they ended up not knowing too >< Other funny stuff that happened back then was during one of the training when i got them to march in the canteen and i didn’t exactly teach them how to stop. In the end, they marched all the way past the orchestra looking like robots(everyone starts of like that). To make it better i did it a second time just for the lols.

Ah i think that’s about all that i’m going to say, and HOLY SHIT its almost 2 already… Really can’t wait to see what happens later on, if somehow or rather they managed to pull of a nice march off… … … … Oh i just remembered, note to self: before the parade begin, after they form up, get them to cheer or something or just make a motivational speech which i’m really bad at to somehow raise their morale. Not sure if i should video record this down since the quality is gonna suck bad like last years and… actually there’s nothing else that’s bad about it just that i’m kinda lazy so i’ll rather not. Either way, lets just hope everything goes well. Somehow or rather i think this post’s logic doesn’t flow at all since its typed late at night, not that there’s a logic flow in any other post but still… :)

To be continued… … … …

Posted in: Chapters of life